4 Chambers...One Heart

A heart beats.  Every beat is the result of four chambers that have distinct and intentional roles.  Each chamber plays its own part in the workings of a bigger system.  It is a very scientific thing that translates to a wonder...an amazing act of God.

I have my own heart.  My heart beats faster when faced with adversity or negativity.  On the other hand, my heart is stabilized by the things that make it beat.  Holding hands.  Laughing.  Believing.

My family is its own heart.  I have termed us "Team O'Bryan" for most of our existence because quite frankly, we couldn't survive if we didn't work together.  Our function only works if all of our hands are in the huddle.  Each of us is a chamber that flows blood through our family.

Robbie is the achiever in the bunch.  He is a task master and maintains order and consistency in day to day operations.  He is driven by the acts of our family and how they unfold.

I am the words of those actions.  We have one family rule.  "Be Kind."  It is the very thing that keeps a temperature on all that we do.  If we are not kind, then we are not.

Tate is the justice of the family.  He believes intently and cares deeply.  He reminds us that doing the right thing is the only thing to do.  Just like a compass, he always points north and ensures we stay on the right path.

And then there's Lily.  Lily is the fresh air that blows in the mundane of a day.  She flutters her way in and out of situations with less than a care for anything but everybody at the same time.  She loves in a way that feels like a tickle, while deeply touching your soul.

Today we took the day to enjoy each other and do some pre-celebrating of the birth of our Lilybean.  Breakfast at Waffle House.  Dancing to favorite songs on the Jukebox.  A new bike for Bean.  Milkshakes.  Raider Pride Bonfire.

I love these people.  It was a perfect day.

Day 6:  Team O'Bryan

#4chambers1heart

My heart might pop.

The Funny Thing Is...

Life is busy. On any given day, a woman can face every challenge known to man. It's tough being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, professional, etc...  Moments of pure laughter and joy can seem so foreign in the day to day feelings of frustration, worry, or just plain boredom. 

I thoroughly believe that in order to be a better YOU, one must surround themselves with people that remind them of their true being. It is, in fact, the very essence of friendship that can fill a heart to a swollen state. 

I have read through my posts of yesteryear and there is one group of ladies that have always brought me to that place. We are connected in many different ways and are as opposite as the day is long. We met in college and have made it a priority for 20 years to take time out to reconnect. The constant in all of our lives is each other. 

Tonight, we celebrated Stef's birth and like many times that we are together, laughter filled the space where the mundane used to live. It was an appetizer for our annual girls' weekend that begins two weeks from tomorrow. They are my champions of the #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge. They remind me that I am never alone, life is worth celebrating and sometimes all it takes is some chips and salsa to make it all worthwhile. 

Day 5:  These Girls

#connected

I encourage all women to find those ladies in your life and make them a priority. You will make yourself a better person in the process. 

The Legend of Zelda

I am not much of a video game or tv gal. It probably stems from the fact that we didn't have cable until my teens. Our first Nintendo System arrived when my brothers were old enough to enjoy games like Super Mario Brothers & Ken Griffey, Jr.  I remember pretty intense games between Tony & Rusty, some even drew blood.

One game I enjoyed more than others was The Legend of Zelda. I'm not sure what it was about this game, but I found it intriguing that this little character roamed around seeking items from others to help him on his journey.  The more items he obtained, the easier he maneuvered on his path.

Today, I played the role of Zelda. On my quest for writing inspiration, I made a surprise visit to one of my favorite writers, the dirty librarian. Her writing has been extra inspired over the past year due to some adversity in her life. Like a seasoned writing pro would do, she has used these troubled times to enhance her craft. One doesn't have to take my word for it. Ole girl was featured not once, but twice by The Huffington Post. My favorite part of my visit was stepping back in time. She is a legend in her small town, as you see her below posing in front of her lettermen's jacket that is rightly displayed in the trophy case.  I can think of no one better that exemplifies #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge.  Hence, today's hashtag...

Day 4:  The Dirty Librarian

#tellitlikeitis

For those of you that are concerned about my sanity, do not fear. Writing obsession will end with Fall Break. I do plan to write more frequently than before after this week of priming the pump. 

Ironic

As I continue my writing awakening, I find myself with more perspective. After a great visit with Bobo in Mobile, the kids and I loaded the car this morning to make the 6 hour drive back home. The drive is a favorite time of mine especially with Rae's top down, sun shining, and music blaring. The morning hours were a bit chilly but we struggled through and finally reached perfect convertible temps.

While driving, we approached a place that evoked some painful memories for me. I tried to start a conversation with the kids to distract me from the thoughts, but their iPods prevailed.  I went through my many self-taught coping mechanisms and finally decided to drown out the thoughts. As I have said many times, it's as if I have my own DJ ready to play a therapy song on cue. I turned the speaker on only to hear a classic from my college days. This particular song reminded me of some of my darkest times from the mid-90s. My dear friend, Lea, and I would scream sing the words to Alanis' Ironic, until we forgot the problems of the day.

Here's the ironic part, after listening to the song at least four times, I found my thoughts were still there. There was only one thing left to do. Which leads me to today's entry for #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge.

Day 3:  The Drive

#lookup

There is only one place to go when sorrow arrives. Thankful for a prayerful end to my drive. 

ao

The Colors of the Rainbow

Today was the perfect scene for my new writing project. What better place for my #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge than Tropical Depression Karen coming in on what would be our only beach day?  This is how it works sometimes. As a matter of fact, this is what cliches are written about. I can promise you that while making the lemonade, finding silver linings, and tasting the box of chocolates, there is plenty of attitude adjusting going on. But as the greatest cliche goes, "Any day that starts with Krispy Kreme..."  Well maybe it's not a cliche, but it sure does get the day started.

From top left to right:

#timetomakethedonuts

#gatorhunting

#exploremobile

#bobolove

#raincatchingoffthetinroof

#jagswag

#amovieanamedforourday

#thecalmafterthestorm

Stay tuned for more #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge!

ao

An Awakening

Something's been stirring. Not like a tilt-a-whirl, throw-up in your mouth kind of spin, but rather a circular motion. Like a spin that happens when water goes down a clogged drain.

I stopped trying to figure out why. That makes the spinning worse. I decided, instead, to focus on the how. How does one stop feeling dizzy when things are off-balance, blurry, or just plain weird?

The only thing I know to do is curl up in the fetal position and hold on until it's over. It works temporarily but at the end of the day, the spinning won't stop. Plain and simple, I am the spinning. And the more spinning I do, the less of me there is.

I've been thinking about this blog a lot.  The fact of the matter is I haven't felt much like writing lately. It's been over a year since I've even tried. It goes back to that phrase about "Best Intentions". I have a lot of those. This summer I found my daughter reading the words I had written about her as a toddler. It was then I realized I MUST find my voice again, if only for her sake (and memories).

My friend Meghan has been spot on lately. It's as if she can read my mind and writes exactly what I'm thinking about. You can check her out www.kmaccreations.com.

She recently challenged me (and any of her other readers) to a reflection show-down. A hashtag commitment to #lifeisbiginthelittlechallenge. It seemed like a great place to start for a lover of writing who can't find her voice. So here goes.  Fall Break described in hashtags.

Day 1:  Bobo Time

Top-Left:  #donteverletgo

Top-Right:  #PIGwithBOBO

Center-Left:  #checkingoutUSA

Center-Left:  #sunkissedandsmiles

Bottom-Left:  #butchcassidyburger #atethewholething

Bottom-Right:  #dutchicecreamohmy

Stay tuned for my slow awakening this week!

38

I have never been one to focus on a number.  Age.  Money.  Prizes.  They all seem quite trivial to me.

As I sit and wrap up the last few hours of my 37^th year, I find myself swirling around between a place of confusion and peace.  I know this “teeter-totter” feeling comes straight from experience as I am no stranger to adversity and change.  The past few weeks have given me my share of both.  And yet, I stare 38 in the face and say, “Bring it!”

After a spring break filled with illness, I decided to spend my birthday eve headed to one of my favorite places.  Scattered thunderstorms abbreviated the river activity, but allowed for plenty of reflection during the drive.  I decided to document my drive through pictures in hopes of remembering my thoughts for many birthdays to come.

I stare at this picture and see a woman that I know.  If you look carefully, you will see no makeup, hair tied back in a scarf, dimples and moles.  It brings me pure joy to see the past 37 have not taken those things from me.

Speaking of looking in a mirror, how could one not feel inspired looking in the rearview mirror at these two?  I have a feeling we have many roadtrips in our future.  More about them later…

I am a lover of music of all kinds.  Every few months, I am blessed with a playlist from one of my dearest.  This one (circa September 2011) reminds me of a weekend of absolute joy on Dale Hollow Lake with some of my favorite people.  Hwy 64 would not be complete without a memorable soundtrack.

I made this drive last weekend with some of my oldest friends who came to visit from NY.  They will tell you that my feet have always been my most identifiable feature.  One can quickly find it by the scars and long second toe.  Tonight I found it nestled up by the steering wheel in its most favorite position.

Despite the rain, we found ourselves at a treasured dive at the base of the river.  I am a lover of all things local.  When I travel, I must find the one place that location is known for.  I don’t imagine the ODD is legendary, but it holds its own special place in my heart as it reminds me of my true soul.   Lord knows I’ve always been a sucker for randomness found in the middle of a field.

We found our table and they found their journals.  Each of them immediately started arguing over the black pen that could perfect their own personal reflections.  After some “problem-solving” they nestled in to create a masterpiece of their own. 

Tate settled into the place that speaks to him, anything involving science.  If you look closely at his drawing, you will see spacecraft, satellites, and martians.  I see much more.  I see the intent focus of his daddy and the sparkling strawberry hair of my family.

Lily took a more personal approach with her hearts and American flag.  Her rosy lips and bangs hanging over her eyes give me a more intimate view into the little girl she is…sweet, endearing, strong. 

Both of these pictures remind me that my entrance into year 38 is so much less about me than ever before.

This last picture may appear random to the average person.  I could spout of some relative meaning, but I took it simply because it made me laugh.  Which reminds me…I need to do that more often.

So 38, here I come…ready and willing to take what you got and with it, I commit to be:

·      A better servant to the Lord and all the blessings and trials he affords me.

·      The best wife that I can, listening more than I speak and loving more than I criticize.

·      Present to my two beautiful treasures I was given to raise and mold.

·      Loving to my parents, brothers, inlaws and extended family as they have given me that same gift.

·      Connected to a wonderful circle of friends as they remind me of who I was and who I will be.

·      Inspired in my daily professional walk and make each moment at work MATTER.

In short, I commit to a better me.  Through growth and reflection, I strive for the life that I am led to live.  Happy 38 to me!!!